I have so much to write. I have so much I want to tell. I need the right motivation. I have the story, and the reason…I just don’t seem to have the desire.
There is someone in my life who has made my time with her miserable…my Mother. I am old enough to say it should all be water under the bridge, but it’s not. I can’t seem to shake it off.
In time if I can actually make myself sit down every day for at least two hours and begin to write down my story; I believe it will be worth my time.
I lived my entire childhood with an unstable parent. I witnessed and also received very unusual treatment. I need to tell this story. I have never told her how horrible she has made me feel. I have indeed told her she still says things at a very old age, and still does cruel things to our minds. We try not to stir her up but it’s her who begins the emotional abuse, and continues until we find ourselves needing to break away. So sad to have her leave the world some day, never knowing what she’s done. How sad that we have to let her some day pass away and maybe never get to say goodbye…not wanting to say goodbye.
I love her in a very unconventional way. I can’t talk to her any more. I need to write down the entire story and know that it’s been ‘said’.