I have been figuring out people can be quite complexed.
There are those family members in our life who care about us and we in turn care about them. Then there are members who married into the family who only care about their family.
How we deal with those people in our lives takes patience. This allows us time to breathe and it keeps us from wanting to slap them. Who knows maybe we really should slap them lol.
It is not hard to alternate holidays between two sides of a family or take turns every other year. I know this because I have always done this, my mother did this, and my grandmothers did this. Everyone around you does this it is really not that complicated for most people. There are no excuses for your selfishness you always have a reason. but the fact is there is no reason for you to do this.
Every family matters just because you get married does not mean one family is more important than the other.
It takes determination and participation to be a part of another family and without that you’re just an outsider and you always will be.